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Hetalia by murphy-san

Prussia x reader by Faithforever100

Reader x Hetalia by NPchan


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October 28, 2012
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You sat bored on the couch with your albino boyfriend. You were both sitting upside down next to each other as you watched TV. Though TV wasn't really your thing(you preferred anime), you put up with it for your awesome man.

You were both watching Ghost whisperer for no apparent reason whatsoever. Suddenly a commercial came on and the first words that were said were, "What's your favorite sex position?" and you quickly shut the TV off.

"See, Gil.... That's why I stick to anime." you said, quite weirded out by that question.

"Kesesesese!" Gilbert laughed, "Und zhat, frau, is vhy I stick to TV. You have no idea vhat you see on TV."

"Hm...." you grunted, the blood beginning to rush to your head.

........

..............

"Sooo~," Gilbert began, "Vhat is your favorite sex position?"

"What!?" you exclaimed, not believing your own ears.

.... Well, this is Gilbert we're talking about......

"You heard me!" he said.

"Ummmm......." you began, a little creeped out, "I wouldn't know..... I've never had sex before."

"YOU'VE NEVER HAD SEX BEFORE!?"

Gilbert shot upright, looking at you in utter disbelief. You sat up as well and said, "Nope."

"Kesese~" he chuckled, "I, personally, vould sveep(sweep) you off your feet and bed you if you'd only let me~."

You just rolled your eyes, "What's the big deal about sex positions anyway?"

"Vhat's zhe big deal? Vhat's zhe big deal!? You've got to be kidding me (Name)! Sex positions are vhat make zhe vorld go 'round!"

You just gave him a look like, 'You are the biggest dummkompf I've ever met.' and said, "Ah geez...."

"How many positions do you even know?" he asked

..... Awkward conversation startiiiiinnnnnnnnnnggg......

NOW!

"Umm..." you thought for a minute, "Doggy-Style..... and 69." you said.

"ZHAT'S ALL YOU KNOW!?" He yelled, completely flabbergasted.

"Yup," you said, "I didn't know there were more..."

"Frau, zhere are SO many more." he stated.

"Aaaaand I have a feeling you're about to tell me them, aren't you?" you sighed.

"Vhat kind of a boyfriend vould I be if I didn't?" he asked.

"I don't know," you said sarcastically, "A normal one?"

He just laughed his strangely attractive laugh and began, "Vell, zhere's zhe butterfly, zhe side-saddle cowgirl, zhe raised missionary, zhe lazy doggie, zhe reverse spoon, zhe stand and deliver, zhe plough, zhe reverse cowgirl, zhe classic 69, zhe reverse stand and deliver, zhe rocking chair-"

"Do I even want to know how you know all this?" you interrupted him.

"Vait, zhere's more." he said, "Zhen zhere's zhe classic doggie-style, zhe crab, zhe classic spoon, zhe classic missionary, zhe vheelbarrow, zhe clam, zhe underdog, zhe cradle, zhe pearl, zhe cobra, zhe side dish, zhe extended doggie, zhe villow(willow), zhe tobaggan.... My personal favorite. Zhere's also zhe G-Drive, und zhe roaring dragon."

".... Are you finished?" you asked, wondering what the fuck all of those positions could even be!

"Yes.... Vell, no. Zhere's a lot more, but I won't go into detail." he said, "I'll spare you your innocence."

"I'm so grateful." you rolled your eyes.

"Or...... I could show you zhem."

............




...........................


"You really know how to get in a girl's pants." you said as he crawled over top of you on the cushiony bed.

He shrugged, "I try~."
I don't know.


It's one thirty am.


And I know know.....


I don't usually write drabbly crack that has no point

But I felt like doing it.




Oh, and don't ask me how I know all these positions


And don't ask me what they are,

I'll just leave that to your imagination. ;)

I do not own Prussia or Hetalia.

You belong to ----> :iconsexyprussia2plz:

Original picture ------> [link]

Comments are encouragedPlease Comment!?!? :icondontkillmeplz:
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:iconnightwolf9458960:
nightwolf9458960 Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
the crab.......... :iconconfusedplz: maybe if you actually describe how to do those positions in a lemon, i'd get it
Reply
:iconangel47baby:
angel47baby Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2014
omg. I laughed so hard at this. God i'm so weird  Laugh LOL 
Reply
:iconchocolatecandii:
ChocolateCandii Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
that Roaring Dragon sounds unsettling...O.o xDDDDDDD
Reply
:iconofficialmadisonjace:
OfficialMadisonJace Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2014  New member Hobbyist General Artist
What in the actual fuck is the Roaring Dragon? It sounds cool yet utterly terrifying.
Reply
:iconmeowers27:
meowers27 Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2014
You don't want to know.
Reply
:iconofficialmadisonjace:
OfficialMadisonJace Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2014  New member Hobbyist General Artist
Ahh, all right.
Reply
:iconfreehugs4sale:
FreeHugs4Sale Featured By Owner Sep 8, 2014
Haha reminds me of the time I was in my moms room and I found a book on sex positions. SCARRED FOR LIIIFE.
Reply
:iconzappylazers:
ZAPPYLAZERS Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
When I was 5 years old, I found a copy of the Kama sutra, a book about sex and I never emotionally recovered from that.....
Reply
:icondreaminginstars:
DreamingInStars Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I love that Ghost Whisper! I'm obsessed with that show!
Reply
:icondreaminginstars:
DreamingInStars Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Whisperer. Sorry.
Reply
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