You sat bored on the couch with your albino boyfriend. You were both sitting upside down next to each other as you watched TV. Though TV wasn't really your thing(you preferred anime), you put up with it for your awesome man.
You were both watching Ghost whisperer for no apparent reason whatsoever. Suddenly a commercial came on and the first words that were said were, "What's your favorite sex position?" and you quickly shut the TV off.
"See, Gil.... That's why I stick to anime." you said, quite weirded out by that question.
"Kesesesese!" Gilbert laughed, "Und zhat, frau, is vhy I stick to TV. You have no idea vhat you see on TV."
"Hm...." you grunted, the blood beginning to rush to your head.
"Sooo~," Gilbert began, "Vhat is your favorite sex position?"
"What!?" you exclaimed, not believing your own ears.
.... Well, this is Gilbert we're talking about......
"You heard me!" he said.
"Ummmm......." you began, a little creeped out, "I wouldn't know..... I've never had sex before."
"YOU'VE NEVER HAD SEX BEFORE!?"
Gilbert shot upright, looking at you in utter disbelief. You sat up as well and said, "Nope."
"Kesese~" he chuckled, "I, personally, vould sveep(sweep) you off your feet and bed you if you'd only let me~."
You just rolled your eyes, "What's the big deal about sex positions anyway?"
"Vhat's zhe big deal? Vhat's zhe big deal!? You've got to be kidding me (Name)! Sex positions are vhat make zhe vorld go 'round!"
You just gave him a look like, 'You are the biggest dummkompf I've ever met.' and said, "Ah geez...."
"How many positions do you even know?" he asked
..... Awkward conversation startiiiiinnnnnnnnnnggg......
"Umm..." you thought for a minute, "Doggy-Style..... and 69." you said.
"ZHAT'S ALL YOU KNOW!?" He yelled, completely flabbergasted.
"Yup," you said, "I didn't know there were more..."
"Frau, zhere are SO many more." he stated.
"Aaaaand I have a feeling you're about to tell me them, aren't you?" you sighed.
"Vhat kind of a boyfriend vould I be if I didn't?" he asked.
"I don't know," you said sarcastically, "A normal one?"
He just laughed his strangely attractive laugh and began, "Vell, zhere's zhe butterfly, zhe side-saddle cowgirl, zhe raised missionary, zhe lazy doggie, zhe reverse spoon, zhe stand and deliver, zhe plough, zhe reverse cowgirl, zhe classic 69, zhe reverse stand and deliver, zhe rocking chair-"
"Do I even want to know how you know all this?" you interrupted him.
"Vait, zhere's more." he said, "Zhen zhere's zhe classic doggie-style, zhe crab, zhe classic spoon, zhe classic missionary, zhe vheelbarrow, zhe clam, zhe underdog, zhe cradle, zhe pearl, zhe cobra, zhe side dish, zhe extended doggie, zhe villow(willow), zhe tobaggan.... My personal favorite. Zhere's also zhe G-Drive, und zhe roaring dragon."
".... Are you finished?" you asked, wondering what the fuck all of those positions could even be!
"Yes.... Vell, no. Zhere's a lot more, but I won't go into detail." he said, "I'll spare you your innocence."
"I'm so grateful." you rolled your eyes.
"Or...... I could show you zhem."
"You really know how to get in a girl's pants." you said as he crawled over top of you on the cushiony bed.
He shrugged, "I try~."