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Submitted on
January 17, 2013
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  • Mood: Hopeless
  • Listening to: Drift by Emily Osment
  • Reading: Fanfictions
  • Watching: Computer screen *derp*
  • Playing: Deviant Art (even though, its not exactly a game)
My life is a liiieeee!!

I have been thinking my whole life that my name is Christina Anastasia Hanlin. I have told everyone about that..... Everyone knows my name......

But you know what.....

That's apparently not my name.....

So the other night, I was having a mental breakdown about being adopted and I was going off like, "YOU COULD HAVE HAD A MORE INTELLIGENT DAUGHTER THAN ME YOU COULD HAVE PICKED SOMEONE SO MUCH PRETTIER I'VE FAILED YOU GUYS AS A DAUGHTER I WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH NO ONE LIKES ME MY OWN MOM DIDN'T EVEN WANT ME WHO THE FUCK WOULD WANT A STUPID FATASS LIKE MEEEEEEE"  and just my usual mental breakdown stuff. So I thought to make me feel better(or possibly worse) I would go take a peek at the letter my birth mother wrote about abandoning me. My parents never wanted me to read it. THEY NEVER WANT ME TO READ IT. So, of course, I want to read it.

I seriously go through every key I can find, trying to open that little suit-case-safe thing. I finally found the key and opened it, looking through all the paperwork. I didn't find the letter though. :b But I found my birth certificate! So I sit down to take a look at that.

When I read the name on my birth certificate...... Christina Anastasia Hanlin is not written there.... No.... It's not......

Where is says what my parents changed my name to, it says my original name that I had while living in the orphanage and then it states the one it was changed to.

Mmkay, my original name was Nepomnyaschikh Anastasiya Dmitriyevna. A Russian name. Then it says the one that it got changed into..... It doesn't say Christina Anastasia Hanlin......

Apparently, my first name in Russia got merged with the name Christina to make my first name Christina-Anastasiya and spelled Anastasia as Anastasiya. So my first name is not Christina, it's Christina-Anastasiya. Then my middle name stays the same as it was in Russia, Dmitriyevna. So my middle name is Dmitriyevna. And then my last name, Hanlin. So my full name is apparently Christina-Anastasiya Dmitriyevna Hanlin.


..... Yeah........ MY WHOLE LIFE.... I'VE BEEN SAYING MY OWN NAME WRONG...... And now the name I have doesn't even fit on the name lines at the top of papers. :iconfacedeskforeverplz:

Christina-Anastasiya Dmitriyevna Hanlin.

Christina-Anastasiya Dmitriyevna Hanlin.

MY BRAIN JUST WON'T ACCEPT IT.... So I've been throwing everyone off today by writing that name on all of my papers so when they were passing them back, the helper students were like "wtf". xD

... Imagine if I married a guy with a really long last name like.... Szymanski(my mother's maden name)..... lol

But after finding that out, I consulted my parents and they said they had no idea.....  :iconfacewallplz:

After that, I was kinda feeling..... I don't really know how I was feeling.

I guess I felt like I didn't know who I was. My whole life, I've had no idea what happened to my birth mother and father. Like, why my mom put me up for adoption. If she cared or not. What happened to my father. And now, I just figure out that my name isn't even Christina Anastasia Hanlin. I felt like I was living a lie. Like everything that I knew had been forcefully torn away from me and now I live the life of someone else. Christina-Anastasiya Dmitriyevna Hanlin trying to live the life of Christina Anastasia Hanlin.

Pronunciation Help, Anyone?

Nepomnyaschikh- (Neh-Pom-Niyas-shik)
Anastasiya(Ah-Nah-Stah-Ci[not shi]-Ah)
Dmitriyevna(Deh-Mi-Tri-Ei-Vna)
Szymanski(Sheh-Man-Ski)
Anastasia(Ah-Nah-Sta-Shi-Ah)
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:iconmrxlb:
MRXLB Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
Oh god lol xD I'm Danish, and my name is, like, WAY off...
Kristine Victoria Kindberg Gejl Jørgensen... Q.Q
Why do parents want to kill their children so much?! Anyway, my parents just fought over my name, and couldn't agree on just one, so I got both Kristine and Victoria. Kindberg is my mother's and Gejl is my dad's, couldn't agree about that too xD
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:iconflotus-17:
flotus-17 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Student Artist
wait :iconwtwplz:
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:iconflashsteps:
flashsteps Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Damn...just...damn o_o
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:iconwildheart63:
Wildheart63 Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Lawlz, that was my same reaction. :3
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:iconflashsteps:
flashsteps Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh i see~ c:
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:iconpastaandwhiterice:
PastaAndWhiteRice Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Student General Artist
Oh wow. And I thought "Alyssa Maria Martinelli" was too long. O.O' *is such a Southern Italian, it's not even funny*
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:iconwildheart63:
Wildheart63 Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha Awh, that's cool~! xD
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:iconpastaandwhiterice:
PastaAndWhiteRice Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student General Artist
Thankies~! :3

I think your name is awesome. ^w^
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:iconrosaarvensis:
rosaarvensis Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Beautiful name! :)
It looks like Dmitriyevna is your patronymic [link] You have it because your father's name was Dmitriy, at least this is how the names are given in Russia. It's not just a simple middle name and maybe that's the reason why nobody told you about it... :)
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:iconwildheart63:
Wildheart63 Featured By Owner Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I know how it works. xD and then the 'evna' ending is 'daughter of' so It would be Daughter of Dmitriy.
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